Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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