In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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