Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
