Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We got so high we made milksteak
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
