The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize