hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
