I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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