They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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