i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
