New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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