so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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