Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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