Betty ford says i'm here all night
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
