Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize