omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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