My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
