"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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