I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
