she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
