I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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