I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
