roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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