Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
