we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
