my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize