Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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