I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
