We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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