literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm jealous of your bromance
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
