Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
