I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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