i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
