My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
