I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
