his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
