As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
