we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
