remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
