So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it glows. i had to have it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
