he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
