her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
