If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
