Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
