some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
