If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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