Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
