I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
