i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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