Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
