I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
