That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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