You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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