and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
