Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
