I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
