I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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