I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
