dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
