I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
