yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
