Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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