i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
