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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.

  Fav 6 4063 1641

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.

  Fav 3 1905 746

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Male strippers are involved. You are coming

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship

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• (+33): View more from France

  Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.

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• (818): View more from California

  Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.

  (818): View more from California

  Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.

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• (939): View more from Puerto Rico

  So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!

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